I can’t get enough of Brooke Fraser’s “Shadowfeet.” Seriously, I could listen to it over and over again- but I force myself not to so I won’t fall out of love with it.
Here’s the thing. It reminds me of the hard times I’ve gone through in life. Watching Mom go through cancer the first time. Standing by friends as they lost loved ones. Going through a very confusing time in college with boys, degrees, and how to get out alive. Learning Mom had cancer again. Helping care for her in her last years. And then finally, letting her go when it was time to.
There were really hard times. Life is like that. And that is what brings me to “Shadowfeet.” When I was dealing with the emotions of realizing that mom would not get better from her last bout with cancer, I felt as though everything I believed about God was not just being called into question- it was being tried by fire. Ultimately, I felt like God allowed me to go through something that stripped everything else away apart from Him. And the cry of my heart through it all was that no matter how weak my faith grew, no matter how angry I felt at God, no matter how little strength I felt like I had, I would always be found in Christ. No matter how feeble my grip, I would still be found standing for Him when it all was said and done.
And that’s why I love the song. It just reminds me of a time when the world around me felt very shaky. I didn’t feel God in a huge way much of the time. I felt exhausted. But I never let go, and I never will. I came away from losing my mom with a very humbled faith in God.
In the hospital room my mom spent her last days in, Chris and I sat praying silently for her. She actually heard Chris’s prayer, though he wasn’t praying out loud. He prayed, “Lord, I need to know you are here with us. Are you here?” And my mom (who was practically in a coma) said “Of course He is.” And again, later Chris prayed silently, “Lord, is it time for her to go?” to which my unconscious mother said, “Only Jesus knows that.”
I didn’t understand what my mom was talking about until later when Chris told me what he had been praying about. It was amazing. And so when I hear this song, especially during Christmas, I pray that all who read this may have some encounter with Christ this holiday season. Go listen to Shadowfeet if you’ve never heard it.
Thanksgiving was wonderful! We had such a great time with family that day, and I can honestly say that it was the most calm holiday celebration we’ve had since the kids came along. And then…
On the way home from Chris’s parents place in Arlington I made Chris pull over so my pregnant bladder would live. And I got out, quickly followed by Amai who rather urgently announced the need to vomit. So after what can only be described as an impressively disgusting episode of throwing up in the parking lot of a gas station, we headed home for what I thought would be a 24 virus. And here it is, one week later and we just now think she is finally well.
What is it with the stomach flu? Why can’t someone figure out a way to make a vaccine for it. They have the Rotatec vaccine for babies, so why can’t they make a version for preschoolers- and even one for adults while they’re at it. I hate being sick at my stomach more than anything else in the world. To put it mildly. And thish week was fairly miserable. Poor Amai- she is a trooper for sure. Kids are much more resilient than I am, I think.
Since we were trapped inside all week, I decided to do something productive so I wouldn’t lose my mind. While I don’t mind sitting still, I prefer doing something productive while I am forced to stay in one place. Sooooo, voila! I finished making roman shades for Amai’s room. Take a look.
Yay!
I’m going to go with a more bold color palate for the baby bedding, as well as Amai’s bedding. (I don’t think you can tell, but there are some fairly bold colors in the shades.) And we may have to tweek the paint color a bit because of the pink in the shades. I love them though- they turned out much better than Ashe’s, even though his turned out pretty well, too. I’m even thinking of getting a different bed or making an upholstered headboard for Amai.
In case you don’t know, our house is a major remodeling project in the works. I love that we’re changing so much of it and will really love how it will help the re-sale value someday. But it is, by far, a diamond in the rough. I love our house, I’m so thankful for it every single day, but I know noone else sees the potential in it that I do. I’m eager to move onto the kitchen and “office” to get the paint and window treatments done. Then we finally get to focus on the master bedroom and master bathroom. One day, when any of the rooms are completely finished, I will post before and after pictures to amaze you all with the transformation!
Here’s a pic from Thanksgiving- see how healthy we all look? Who knew?
Happy Thanksgiving!
Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
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